Stealthfest 4 : Yannis meets the gang
"Are you hallucinating?" "No more than usual."
Greetings fellow humans. This month’s segment of the Stealthfest script introduces the Sudden Death Dance Off and briefly touches on the nuanced politics of taking drugs you’ve found on the floor.
Due to a lack of proper forward planning, these little scenes have not been uploaded in the sequence they appear in the script. For those who care about chronology, this scene takes place after the crew appear on site but before Yannis ditches his band and before he has a hungover but flirtatious meeting with Debz and Danni the next day . Hit the links in the previous sentence to catch up on the story and hit this one to get some more background on the Stealthfest universe.
Psychedelics enthusiasts, please feel free to speculate as to what substance you think magic powder might be in the comments.
Let the show begin!
It is dark. The camera shows Yannis staggering along on his own down one of the main routes through the festival. He looks ragged and wasted. Other festival goers walk the same route in small groups, obviously on their way home. The punters carry bags and half empty plastic cups with alcohol in. Yannis is only carrying a mostly empty bottle of red wine. He looks down a path to his right and sees what appears to be a small group of people dancing and chanting in the middle distance. As he gets closer, it appears that about 15 people are stood in a ring, facing each other, singing, whilst one dances madly in the middle , with a few more watching on at a short distance. The song they are singing is the Tetris theme. As Yannis gets closer to the group, the singing increases in speed and intensity, reaching a crescendo with shouts and clapping as Yannis stands within talking distance of the group. As Yannis stops walking the group descends into cheers as the dancer in the middle collapses theatrically to much praise, with hands reaching down to pull him up, rub his head and offer him booze. A beach ball bounces off his head. When the cheering dies down, a figure turns to face Yannis. It's Krispy.
KRISPY : Hey up, it's him!
* to Yannis* - you alright mate? great set earlier
*to the onlookers* Look everybody, it's the Battleska Galactica guy! It's..... *sniggers* It's the ska man!
*Joe turns around*
JOE - *yelling* The ska man!
*starts loudly singing the refrain to "Scatman" by Scatman John* BE BOP BOP BOP BOP! BA DABBA DABBA DABBA BUP BOP!!
*Yannis snarls and looks ready to leave.*
YANNIS - Fuck you if you're just going to mock my band. Stupid crusties.
*Joe steps in front of Yannis*
JOE - No way mate. I think your band is great, we were celebrating it! I must of seen you lot play at least 8 or 10 times over the years, all those different musicians that keep coming and going but you and Steve keep the band going and keep the quality high. Honestly, today was the second time we've seen you this summer.
KRISPY - It is true. He does love coming to see your band.
*Yannis relaxes slightly but doesn't say anything*
JOE - We might be stupid crusties but we're performing here, or we're supposed to be. See, we've got artist wristbands just like you.
*Krispy and Joe show Yannis their wristbands . They do indeed say "artist" on them. *
YANNIS - *sneering slightly* Artists, eh? so what are you doing here? I'm assume they don't give people artist wristbands to dance around by the bins whilst the rest of the festival is closing. Maybe you're face painters or something.
KRISPY - We're with the Freako Soundsystem. We're supposed to be playing tomorrow night but the rest of them are giving us some shit about the van having broken down and saying they're not going to turn up .
YANNIS - Yes, I have heard they can be difficult. Fucking musicians eh? Bunch of motherfuckers.
JOE - Sometimes I wish they were all dead.
YANNIS - I saw some of your set at Wretched Festival, very good, very good. You must be the new dancers, yes? Which one of you was the horse?
*Yannis takes a deep swig on his wine*
JOE - I was the horse, of course, of course! We do backing vocals as well you know. We're doing different costumes now, those ones were just unworkable, too hot and sweaty. Now I'm a kind of Victorian strong man.
YANNIS - You don't look like a strong man. Do you lot have any drugs? I would really like to snort some cocaine.
KRISPY - All we've got is magic powder and booze.
*All look at Sam who is silently shuffle dancing away from the main group to a beat only he can hear.*
YANNIS - Magic powder? *pause* What is magic powder?
JOE - We found a big bag of it by the toilets earlier. I've been taking it all evening and it feels great. I just don't what it is.
KRISPY - I had some too. It's nice, nothing nasty. Bit like MDMA. But different.
YANNIS - *mumbling* Magic powder....are you hallucinating or anything?
KRISPY - Nah
JOE - No more than usual. Bro, don't tell me you haven't taken drugs you've found on the floor before.
*Yannis looks around at the faces of those around him, considering the situation*
YANNIS - OK. I will try some of your magic powder.
KRISPY - *triumphantly* Joe, fetch the magic powder! You can try our specialist substance my friend, but first, you must dance!!
*Krispy turns to address the rest of the group*
KRISPY - Good people of Stealth Fest, we have a new challenger in the Crusty Cabaret Sudden Death Dance Off!
*crowd cheers. yannis sneers*
YANNIS - what makes it sudden death?
KRISPY - cos if we don't like it, we'll kill ya!
YANNIS - you want me to dance like an arsehole to the Tetris song in exchange for drugs you found on the floor?
JOE - come on mate, it's a festival, you've to got to dance at a festival! it doesn't have to be the tetris song, pick any song we all know, we'll sing it, you dance, we'll all do some magic powder and have a wicked time.
YANNIS - Stupid crusties. This is why I don't bother staying at festivals.
*Yannis looks like he is about to leave, goes to drink his wine and realises it is all gone. he spots a 4 pack of beer on the floor*
YANNIS - Ok, I will dance for you assholes. But first, one of you must give me a cigarette. And I need a beer. Can I have one of these beers? I'm having one of these beers.
*Yannis opens one of the beers*
YANNIS - Then you can give me some magic powder. And then, if security haven't turned up and chased you lot back to your tents, I will dance.
*some mild cheers from the gang*
KRISPY - Security are leaving us alone, they can't be arsed. they know we want to antagonise them anyway. Joe , give him some powder. And remember, if you don't dance, we'll kill ya!
*Cut to Yannis doing an expressive, vibrant and sensual dance whilst the crowd sing "Miserlou" in a circle around him. *
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