Stealthfest excerpt 2 : Yannis confronts his band
Another excerpt from my script "Stealthfest", in which the under appreciated singer of a mid tier ska covers band finally expresses his true feelings to his ungrateful band mates
To find the first excerpt from my script, click here
*Warning - profanity is frequently used in this piece*
SCENE: The dead of night. In a camping field. It seems like most of the festival is asleep.
YANNIS : This is it, motherfuckers!! This is our van, the Battleska Galactica van!!!
KRISPY : Keep it down a bit mate, people are trying to sleep
JOE (GRINNING) : Magic powder is a hell of a drug.
YANNIS (TAPPING ON VAN WITH SING SONGY VOICE) : Battleska Galactica, little motherfuckers!! Spring break is not over yet, Daddy Yannis has a treat for you! Rise and shine my little beauties!! The party is never over with Daddy Yannis!!
*Yannis continues to tap on the van whilst dancing round it. A small light turns on and Steve sticks his head out of the window looking pissed off*
STEVE : Yannis, the side door is open. Come in if you want but please be quiet, we're all trying to sleep and I have to drive in the morning.
*Yannis goes to the other side of the van and pulls the side door wide open. This triggers the interior light and awakes the occupants who murmur disagreement*
YANNIS : Come on my little bambinos! You have all done so well this summer and this is our last night all togther so let's celebrate!! I have so many treats for you!! We have drink, we have magic powder, we have Joe the Victorian strong man who is neither Victorian, strong or even a man in someways cos they are a bit non binary, gender fluid, but that is ok!! Joe is only a Victorian Strongman on stage, we talked about it earlier!! See what interesting people I bring you?
*more murmurs of disagreement from the van*
STEVE : Look Yannis, I've already told you, no one in here wants to party, we all want to go to sleep, and that's what we're going to do. You can come in here and be quiet and sleep if you want, or you can go elsewhere and party. But we're going to sleep and that's that.
YANNIS (PLEADING) : Come on guys, it's the last festival of the summer, we might never be all together again! It's too early to go to sleep, look there will be a beautiful sunrise in an hour or so. Just come and sit by the fire for one little drink!! One little bump of magic powder will bring you to life again I promise, it is the best new drug, you really must try it. Stop being boring little motherfuckers and come out to play you bunch of arseholes!! Just for a little while!!
STEVE (ANGRY) : You need to fuck off now Yannis, you're seriously starting to piss people off . No one, I repeat no one in this van is interested in partying with you or your magic powder. Either shut the fuck up or leave us alone, NOW.
YANNIS (CAMPLY) - Ohh, Stevie, Stevie! Why are you doing this to me? That would make a good song that would *starts singing tunelessly * Ohh Stevie, Stevie, why are you doing this to me? Why won't you come and party?
*Yannis is singing tunelessly into the door of the van when a hand reaches out and pushes him over on his back. The van door quickly shuts*
YANNIS (INCANDESCENT) : Mother fuckers!
KRISPY : Come on Yannis, let's go sit by the fire. They don't want to play.
JOE : Yeah the fire is a good idea, let's go.
YANNIS : We will. We will go and sit by the fire. After I have dealt with these arseholes.
JOE : I don't think that's a good idea Yannis.
YANNIS : I need to talk to my band. Don't worry, it won't take long.
*Yannis walks back over to the van and bangs on the hood*
YANNIS : Listen up you bastards!!
VOICE FROM INSIDE OF THE VAN : Fuck off Yannis!!
YANNIS : OK, I see it is fuck off Yannis now. After all I have given you, all the great festivals I have gotten you involved in, all the times I have paid you, all the kindness I have shown you, what I get is "fuck off yannis" . You ungrateful swine, I do everything, I run the band I book the gigs, I do the stupid fucking facebook posts, I arrange the rehearsals and the recordings, I do all the things you don't, and all you tell me is fuck off Yannis. Ok you wankers!!
*getting emotional now*
I will fuck off then. And you lot can all fuck off too. I never want to see any of you again, as long as I live. And that includes you, Stevie! And that starts right this second, you can drive home without me in the morning because I don't want to see your terrible faces!! And as for Battleska Galactica, forget it!! I am putting it out of it's misery, this band was dead ten years ago. It is over, do you hear me? OVERR!!!!
*a horn beeps. the sound comes from a pick up which has 2 security guards in it*
SECURITY GUARD : Right, we need you lot to shut up right now. We can hear this one yelling from across the field, it's keeping everyone awake. Now we don't give a damn about your band disputes or your magic powder, whatever the hell that is, but if you keep yelling like that then we're chucking you off the field, big boy.
KRISPY : Yeah sorry about that, he was out of order. We'll take him away now.
SECURITY GUARD : You do that.
JOE : He's a musician, you see.
SECURITY GUARD : Yeah, it shows. Don't make me come back out here.
* the pick up drives off*
KRISPY : Come on Yannis, let's go now.
*Yannis leans up close to a small gap in the front window of the van and whispers*
YANNIS : Do not forget what I have said you motherfuckers. I never want to see any of you again. Donot hang around in the morning waiting for me to come back and be nice to you, it's not going to happen. We are done. Battleska Galactica is done. Finished. Fuck you all.
*Yannis walks over to Kripsy and Joe, and then puts his arms around them as they walk away*
YANNIS : Ok, so now we go to the fire. Can I have some more magic powder?