Stealthfest 3 : Debz and Danni meet Yannis
"Can you get me any cocaine?" "I've got some Ibruprofen if that will help"
This is the third excerpt I have published from a film script I have written entitled “Stealthfest”, my stab at a Snatch / Lock Stock style caper movie set at a UK music festival. In this scene hungover Yannis (singer and leader of ska covers band Battleska Galactica) meets volunteers from the kids field, Debz and Danni.
To read the other excerpts ( and find out what Yannis was doing the night before), click here and here . To read a brief overview of the Stealthfest universe, click here.
SCENE : Backstage. Daytime. Various busy looking people ignore Yannis who is sat next to a table with a power point, a kettle and tea and coffee stuff on it. His phone is plugged in and he looks utterly broken . Debz and Danni are watching him from a far.
DEBZ : Go on! You said you fancied him when he was onstage last night, now's your chance! You've got to go over there to get a coffee anyway.
DANNI : I dunno. He looked different onstage. Now he looks.....almost dead.
DEBZ : That's the best time to get em, when they're vulnerable, he won't be able to withstand your attack! Come on Danni, if I'm not getting any this weekend, then you can at least try. You know I live, what's the word, like a vicar through your exploits.
*danni snorts*
DANNI : I think the word you're looking for is "vicarious" . I don't know what "exploits" you’re talking about either, get your twisted kicks somewhere else! Let's both go over there.
DEBZ (MOANY TONE) : OK then, I suppose at least it keeps me off the bloody kids field for another ten minutes.
*Debz and Danni walk over to the coffee table*
DEBZ (TO YANNIS) : You alright mate? We saw your set last night, great stuff as always.
YANNIS (ABSENTMINDEDLY) : Yes, hello.
DEBZ (UNPERTURBED) : You want a coffee my love, whilst I'm making one?
YANNIS : Yes, coffee would be nice, thankyou. Milk and 2 sugars.
*Debz makes Yannis's coffee and hands it to Danni.*
*Danni passes the coffee to Yannis*
DANNI : Are you ok mate? Sorry to ask, it's just you look like something really bad’s just happened to you.
YANNIS : No, you are right. Something bad has happened.
*Danni sits by Yannis, Debz kneels in front of him*
DEBZ : Then why don't you tell us about it love? Maybe we can help you.
YANNIS : Thank you but no, you will not be able to help. My band, they have desserted me. Left me here all on my own, at this festival where i know no one.
DANNI : Well, you know what musicians are like. So you need a lift, or a taxi, or something?
YANNIS : Yes, they left me here on my own, to die, disappearing in the night like thieves. I tried to call them, but my phone was out of charge.
*Yannis eyes phone suspiciously*
YANNIS : Why won't you charge?!
DEBZ : Well you could use one of our phones if you like.
YANNIS : I do not know their numbers.
DANNI : Well we could message them on facebook or something.
YANNIS : They will not reply. No, the time for phones has passed. What I need now, is cocaine.
*Yannis looks both women in the face for the first time*
YANNIS : Can you get me any cocaine?
* debz and danni give each other worried looks*
DEBZ : We can't get you any of that love, though I'm sure someone around here's got some. I've got some ibroprofen if that'll help.Look maybe what you need to do is look on the bright side a little bit eh?
YANNIS : Really?
*debz puts her hands on Yannis's knees*
DEBZ : Well, I know your band has run off and left you, but you're still at a festival, aren't you? You've still got all your limbs, the sun is shining. I bet you got paid alright after last night's gig. You might even have some food tickets left.
YANNIS : Food tickets..
DEBZ : And your boring band have gone home, and you're still at the festival surrounded by gorgeous women. Look at Danni, isn't she gorgeous?
*Yannis looks at Danni*
YANNIS : Yes. She is very cute.
*debz slaps Yannis on the shoulder, laughing*
DEBZ : You cheeky bastard!! We need to watch this one Danni, he gets frisky after half a cup of coffee!! Well me and Danni need to get back to the bloody kids field, but you drink your drink, maybe get some rest and some food down your neck, don't do anything too mental, and maybe we'll see you on the dancefloor later. Come on Danni, back to the brats!